I’ve been somewhat of a lost cause ever since I got Sims 3 for the Xbox 360.  I’ve played it before of course, but now I used it as my chill-out time.  As a method of escape.  But it is possible to escape a little to much, and bemoan why things are painted so easy on the game whereas, in real life, they’re anything but…

*  If your Sim’s ugly, you can use a Karma Power to alter their appearance.  In real life, it costs you a good couple of grand and several weeks at home recovering.  Although, for some added authenticity, some of your other Sims will occasionally gossip and say ‘Doesn’t [name of Sim] look different these days?’  Though, I suppose in real life, people would be more likely to say: ‘How much d’you reckon that’s cost her, then?’

* You can also use a similar Karma power to dispel mess in the house.  And, if you don’t have enough Karma points and instead get a recurring maid service, the staff are ALWAYS – HOT!

* The goldfish you keep at home will literally last longer than most of your family members.   Provided you merely keep feeding it, of course.  Never is there any of the emotional heartache that accompanies the death of little, animal members of the household.

*  Every single Sim you have gets to the top of their game, given enough time, perseverance and hard work.  It doesn’t matter if you want to be a rockstar, a writer, a politician or a surgeon.  You just turn up at your local business and they will give you a job, no questions asked.  Oh.  And you never went to college.

*  Every time you cook, you get a little better at it.  I personally started cooking back before I even went to uni, and my best dishes are still baked potato, scrambled egg and Uncle Ben’s rice with grated cheese on top…

*  If you really don’t like someone, just build a wall around them.  For a quick solution, do so while they’re swimming so they drown, as opposed to stand and get dirty, starving and lonely behind the room you’ve built them in the back garden they can’t escape from.  The cops never – ever – seem to get involved, or suspicious, even.

*  If you start in the morning, you can write a book in a day.  I would quite literally kill for this talent.  My first book took me around three years to actually complete, and I’ve heard some people talk about a labour of love that takes ten years or more.

*  Oh yeah.  And said books ALWAYS seem to get published and earn the author a little money.  I haven’t earned enough commission to claim it from my book yet.  And as for getting it anything other than self-published at the moment… (throws head back in hysterical laughter)

* The fire department always arrive in a timely fashion.  Though, much like life, they then have a go at you about being careful next time.

*  It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, or just want to flirt and snog everything that comes across your path.  No one cares.  You can also marry a member of the same sex without raising eyebrows.  This one is very dear to my heart.  Especially when your Sims Life Goal is to be a gold digger and see your wealthy spouse kick the bucket before you, and the only old Sims in the game happen to be the same sex as you…

*  Adoption is superbly easy.  What sex do you want?  What do you want to call them?  Are you over 18?  Yes!  Absolutely, here’s your baby.  And no, you don’t have to be mega rich to afford this hassle-free path to children.

*  You can turn the T.V. and the stereo off without getting out of bed.  When it’s in another room.  Downstairs.  And you don’t need a remote.

*  You know who absolutely every number in your phone belongs to and what relationship you have with them.  I could well do with this on my phone.  I could do without calling the wrong Jon or Dave or Anna and embarrassing myself.

*  You can buy a house outright and not need to worry about keeping up with the mortgage.  If only…And if only houses were as comparatively cheap in real life as they are on Sims…

* If you feed the baby, then toss it in the air straight afterwards, you don’t get covered in sick.  You’re far more likely to be sick yourself, having eaten leftover cookies or pizza that have been in the fridge for the past week…

If you think of any more, please comment!