Chapter 16

I rolled some marijuana in paper and began smoking it. The bottle in my hand was empty and I went for another. The sun ran away and darkness slowly walked in the room. I heard a knock and a woman rushed into the room and I panicked as she undressed.
“My head is hurting me and also my throat is feeling sore like I’m going to catch a fever or something,” I flavoured words with tears to Chin and pulled her from my body. Chin jolted Jackie to the bed. Her skin appeared splotchy and her eyes awoke. She swapped the cellular phone  for soft hands that shredded away her button and unlock her breast to her lips.
“I got to go,” I was frightened but the words came out, “What am I doing in your house?”
“Ok then. But what you doing on the road so late? Stay with me,” Chin begged, “forget that dirty man. I kill the fool two days ago.”
“It’s you all along, I got to go,” I coldly replied. I pushed her from my face and cut her a box. “There is nothing no one can do to hurt me again ok. I’ve been through it all ok. Don’t give a fuck.” She cursed
My head started to hurt badly as she punched me in the mouth and slapped me twice. The mist of the pain had settled. My eyes were red and sexed with Chin was fun. Why is my head spinning and my heart heavy I questioned? My skin turned unhealthy and had aged 5 years in one night. Wrinkles had appeared under my eyes and lines filled my dull face. I got to go to pub for a drink. I took a cab and rushed toward the pub and planted my ass on the seat and hissed my teeth and rolled my eyes over the man sitting at the opposite end. He smiled at me and I gushed, “I am not sleeping with you tonight not for the money or the drug.” My eyes met the bartender.
“The usual, ice on the rock!” the voice breathed. The pain blast my skins.
“Something very strong,” I said. After I swallowed the bitter liquor my inside felt sad and my sick pitiful life lied before me and I wanted to ran away from realization and cut myself all over with a knife.
“I hate myself,” my thoughts painted. “You hate you, you ruin my life.” I shouted discovering that an Indian man standing in front of me.
“Let me take you home,” the driver said, “you owe me this, after everything I have done for you. I am the only one that truly love and is always there for you.”
“I hate you, I hate me,” I cried and ran from the pub into an oncoming vehicle. I felt to the ground and lights flashed between my eyes. I struggled to get up before the driver grabbed me.
“What were you thinking Jackie, you almost got killed,” the driver shouted.
“I wish I was,” I managed to say and wiped my forehead with a handkerchief. We walked toward his car and I knew I will have to suck his dead dick and he would want to freak me to compensation for his dead member. Ten minutes later he dropped me off at my home. My knees were weak and I smashed into the glass table as my body collapsed.
“I am just sex,” I screamed. Everyone has been tearing me into pieces through sex for seventeen years. I rushed toward the kitchen and grabbed the knife and slit my two wrists.  I found bottles of strong drinks and emptied them into my stomach. I did not feel any more pain as I proceeded to cut myself all over.
“When will this end,” The words rang in my head and I knew death was near. “Cherry  has never ever been there for me. This is what I’m realizing now at death. The men I meet in my life behave the same way as Francis. They trigger the pain that he left in my heart. This broke my heart. I was a good and intelligent child and they just tried to break me into pieces.” were my last words.