Procrastination: my favorite mirror
The most ironic aspect of this whole endeavor I am undertaking (that is, writing an article) is that I am really supposed to be studying for not one, but two exams, both of which are looming with the same eerily depressing allure of a storm cloud. The thing about storm clouds is that they come gradually and that our instinct as intelligent human beings warns us that: first, rain is approaching; second, it’s time to find shelter.
However, I find that storm clouds (in my case) entice me to take a scenic stroll, because of course, when a storm is approaching, the skies become a dull mixture of grey and blue. These are two colors which appeal to my deliriously melancholic mind as perfect indicators of good strolling weather.
Naturally, after acknowledging the storm cloud, I would proceed to go on such a stroll in order to think, ponder, sigh endlessly and then, when the rain does come, I would curse the skies and run back home. Then I would lean against the door and laugh at myself for thinking the storm cloud would respect me and I would realize that really, I wanted to be drenched in rainwater all along. I wanted to escape, but not unscathed.
In the case of procrastination, I find that I am exactly the same. And that is why I refer to procrastination as my favorite mirror. I suppose it has a unique gift: it exposes one’s true motives to oneself. When procrastinating, especially in the case of a creative mind, you will probably find yourself doing something that you normally don’t do or something that you do too often.
For example, I haven’t written anything on a public forum for several years (irrelevant really as I am only eighteen), but the fact that I chose to awaken this dead practice during such a crucial point in my university career is highly questionable. I would wager that my procrastination mirror is revealing to my impressionable mind that what I truly want is to write freely, beyond the parameters of textbook note taking.
Now that I have reached this conclusion, I must return to my textbook so that I can one day be free, free to write what I want, when I want, with a degree behind me to keep me afloat.
All this knowledge has been uncovered whilst looking in the mirror. I don’t recommend it but should you, reader, ever find yourself procrastinating, ask yourself: do you want the storm cloud to drench you before you return home?